RETROZONE

Wieder mal eine dieser Umfragen...

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Check it out, you're an ABC Warrior!

In bars frequented by colossal death robots, you're always the quiet guy at the back who no-one ever bothers. And for good reason. You've fought in several nuclear wars, could beat the sun in a staring match, and have a chin larger than many articles of furniture. Morals are not a concept you understand, but strangely enough, nobody ever questions your judgement. Usually because they're dead. Even Judge Dredd wets himself when you turn up. Grrrr

You are Optimus Prime!

Vast, red and ready to turn into a lorry at the slightest provocation, you are a robot to be reckoned with. Although sickeningly noble, you just can't resist a good interplanetary war, especially when Orson Welles is involved. You have friends who can shoot tapes from their chests. Tapes that turn into panthers. And other friends who are dinosaurs. Dinosaurs who jump out of planes. Will you have my children?


Tell the world you're an Autobot with the following non-heat-sensitive sticker :

Can it, you're Bender!


In the robot world, you are a bit of a lightweight in the colossal death league, but you do mutter ""kill all humans"" in your sleep - and after all, it's the thought that counts. We love you because you drink, steal, smoke cigars and gamble away things that aren't even yours. You've got what it takes. You're the right stuff.

Tell the world you're the Homer Simpson of the future with the following picture:

You are Gigantor!

Born in 1963, You are possibly the original colossal death robot, being one of the patriarchs of the current crop, and definitely an advocate of old-skool enemy-bashing. Why use a clumsy particle weapon when you can create supernovas just by flexing your arms? Your one minor weakness is that you are entirely dominated by some kid with a remote contol - still, don't let it get you down. You can sink a nuclear submarine with jazz music.

Wage death and destruction on the Web with the following fine emblem of power:

Hey ho, you're Calibretto!

Kick. Arse.

Five metric tonnes of hulking, steam powered robo-meat, you are the pin-up boy for death robot technology. Although you are in fact a war golem, you know how to use a minigun, and you can benchpress small settlements. Relatively new to the colossal death robot scene, you were first pencilled by comic legend Joe Maduriera in 1998. Sensitive, stylish, and yet still massive, if you were female and not made of iron I would probably propose to you.

Scowling wilfully towards Autobot City, you're Megatron!

Look in a mirror and feel the evil. Then eat the mirror. You eat mirrors for breakfast. You are a badass death robot. You busted on Optimus Prime. You. Are. Megatron. Go outside and burn some animals, because you're worth it.

Check it out, you're an ABC Warrior!

In bars frequented by colossal death robots, you're always the quiet guy at the back who no-one ever bothers. And for good reason. You've fought in several nuclear wars, could beat the sun in a staring match, and have a chin larger than many articles of furniture. Morals are not a concept you understand, but strangely enough, nobody ever questions your judgement. Usually because they're dead. Even Judge Dredd wets himself when you turn up. Grrrr.

Declare human life to be an abomination with the following merry image:

Holy Voltron rip-off, you're Megazord!


You own being huge. You are the hugest guy around, without a doubt. Even really huge people whimper at your hugeness. And you are made of really huge robot dinosaurs. Huge. You are so huge it takes five power rangers to control you. And you can mash anything. Even mounds of foam rubber the size of cities. Because you're huge. Sorted.

Declare your hugeness with the following sticker of power:

Can it, you're Bender!


In the robot world, you are a bit of a lightweight in the colossal death league, but you do mutter ""kill all humans"" in your sleep - and after all, it's the thought that counts. We love you because you drink, steal, smoke cigars and gamble away things that aren't even yours. You've got what it takes. You're the right stuff.

Set sail for the end zone, 'cause you're the Sonic 2 Final Boss!


You were the first colossal death robot I ever defeated, but don't be disheartened. You may just be a fat smelly bloke in a colossal robot exterior, but thousands and thousands of theoretical blue hedgehogs have been bludgeoned into fetid jam by your titanic feet. Learn to love yourself, and you will learn to love the world.


Smite the hedgehogs of the world with the following death logo: