Ne Geschichte zum lachen... (engl.)
Verfasst: Mi Sep 26, 2001 7:35 pm
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for
baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat
lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was
apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself "She'll never go for me
carrying on like that," so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up his
beloved baked beans, and shortly after, that they got married.
It was his birthday a few months later and, on the way home from work, his
car broke down.
Since they lived in the country, the man called his wife and told her he
would be late because he had to walk.
On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked
beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk, he figured
he could walk off any ill effects before he got home. So he went in and
ordered, and before leaving had three extra large helpings of baked beans.
All the way home he 'putt-putted'. He 'putted' down one hill and
'putt-putted' up the next.
By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe. His wife met him at the
door and seemed somewhat excited.
She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for
dinner tonight!" She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the
head of the table and made him promise not to peek.
At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was
about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise
not to peek until she returned, and she went to answer the phone. While she
was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let
go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time
breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had
just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and
'rrriiiipppp!' It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To
keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms awhile, hoping the smell would
dissipate. Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another urge
coming. He shifted his weight to his other leg and let go. This was a real
blue-ribbon winner; the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook and, a
minute later, the flowers on the table were dead. While keeping an ear tuned
in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying
blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and
fanning them each time with his napkin. When he heard his wife saying goodbye
(indicating the end of his loneliness, and freedom) he neatly laid his napkin
on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the
picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long,
she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. After assuring her he had not, she
removed the blindfold and yelled, To his shock and horror, there were twelve
dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.
baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat
lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was
apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself "She'll never go for me
carrying on like that," so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up his
beloved baked beans, and shortly after, that they got married.
It was his birthday a few months later and, on the way home from work, his
car broke down.
Since they lived in the country, the man called his wife and told her he
would be late because he had to walk.
On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked
beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk, he figured
he could walk off any ill effects before he got home. So he went in and
ordered, and before leaving had three extra large helpings of baked beans.
All the way home he 'putt-putted'. He 'putted' down one hill and
'putt-putted' up the next.
By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe. His wife met him at the
door and seemed somewhat excited.
She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for
dinner tonight!" She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the
head of the table and made him promise not to peek.
At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was
about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise
not to peek until she returned, and she went to answer the phone. While she
was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let
go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time
breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had
just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and
'rrriiiipppp!' It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To
keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms awhile, hoping the smell would
dissipate. Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another urge
coming. He shifted his weight to his other leg and let go. This was a real
blue-ribbon winner; the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook and, a
minute later, the flowers on the table were dead. While keeping an ear tuned
in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying
blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and
fanning them each time with his napkin. When he heard his wife saying goodbye
(indicating the end of his loneliness, and freedom) he neatly laid his napkin
on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the
picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long,
she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. After assuring her he had not, she
removed the blindfold and yelled, To his shock and horror, there were twelve
dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.